times they are a-changing

I repeat myself when I say that I don´t know what it is about Cathedrals but they strike me so deeply with their enormity and overwhelming sense of harmony that I always feel so insignifant and humbled and silenced (which takes a lot.) The cathedral in Morelia had no less an effect upon me. I was there on Monday and the meaning of the cathedrals really grabbed every breathing particle that makes up ´Anetta´ and inspired my very core, even rendering me emotional. It was intense. I was so awe-struck and deeply contemplative when sitting in there that I even got caught up in midday mass without even realising, until the Priest was standing at the front speaking in low biblical Spanish tones and I realised that every Mexican around me had stood in respect. I snuck out swiftly.

But the Cathedral´s impact, to me, is representative of how I wish to try and live my life. Aware of my contextualisation within lifetimes of history, culture, conflict, religion, philosophy and not taking it for granted.

Jacky & Yvonne

Today is my last full day in the Bosque. I will miss it dearly but having lived in this peaceful eco village for a month, I know that it is definitely time for me to move on... I am embarking on the next chapter of my latin american travels. Exceedingly nervous and exceedingly excited! I will begin tomorrow in Morelia, a colonial city about an hour away from Patzcuaro (journey time from the Bosque of course is 4hours!) Here I spent last weekend with the wonderful Brothers Woodward (Steven and Charles) from Denver, Colorado. They finished their 2-week stint in the Bosque and were continuing on with their adventures - cycling through Mexico - so I followed them to enjoy my days off and had a thoroughly entertaining ¨weekend.´´ We walked around the stunning Centro Historico and I introduced the brothers to my meditative habit of contextualising myself within every new experience to ensure I adequately live in each moment and savour every bit of my life. They called me a New Age Hippie which is laughable but I must admit that I am finding myself increasingly spiritual these days. I am just realising more and more how much incredible beauty there is to our very existence and it means a lot to me to attempt to appreciate that as much as possible.

Goodbye Bosque!

Filming in the Bosque has been fun and liberating. I have had deadlines but not the same money/ permissions/ crew restrictions as I do in London so it has never felt tedious or overly limited. Three short films/¨vlogs¨ later and I am very proud to have been able to document my first month in Mexico and have an enduring record of my time spent in the Bosque. I have conducted several interviews with volunteers here and one of my favourite questions is ´´Have you learnt anything from this experience?¨ I enjoy asking this question as answers are always extremely varied as there is just a multitude of personalities that make up the volunteer team. It is such an open question that it is interpreted to mean social, personal, environmental lessons. For me it means all as I feel the experience has enrichened me in all the above ways.

I have become more conscious of my impact on the planet. I have learned to ´listen to the land´ and my newfound mantra ´the forest is my friend.´ I have become more self sufficient and independent. I have learned how good it feels to eat healthily three times a day for a month. I have learned how good it feels to constantly be among the trees and to live in nature. I have learned many things about myself - that I am a bit more of an attention seeker than I would previously admit. That I LOVE getting to really know people and can grow attachments easily and quickly. That I still continue to judge people too fast, despite me thinking that I had grown out of this. That quiet people DOES NOT MEAN boring people! That I like to always be involved but it is probably better for me to not always be! That I enjoy working alone. That I do not enjoy playing alone. That I need my time to sit aside and reflect in my own calm. That I don´t need to party to have fun. That sitting around a fire with a book on Sufism can be just as pleasurable. That I actually love talking to people who are completely different from me and am keenly interested in other ways of living. That I enjoy being me without makeup! I am finally used to my own face :)

I am so excited about the next chapter of my travels... It is going to be very different without my safety blanket of the Bosque to go back to after a weekend´s trip away and the familiar faces all around me and a bedroom. I´ll miss the composting toilets - there´s no feeling like crapping in the great outdoors. I´ll miss the amazing food, hopefully I´ll continue these eating habits and not succumb to the quesadillas and tacos! But most importantly, hopefully I´ll keep up my newfound kinship with nature and continue to appreciate its importance in my life, for my strength of mind and body and for feeding my soul.

Peace out,
Anetta x

ps - I ain´t a hippie

mighty mighty torros

Janitzio island, Patzcuaro

So Friday the sun came out and changed the face of everything... the forest AND my mood! So after work on Sunday, I went with a bunch of other volunteers to the nearby magical town of Patzcuaro where we ate a shitload of cheese-based food, drank tequilas and squished 6 of us into a hostel room. On Monday we visited the teeny tiny adorable island of Janitzio in the middle of the stunningly massive Lake Patzcuaro. Growing out of the top of the island stands a proud imitation of the statue of liberty, the Jose Maria Morelos - a great hero of Mexico´s independence. We visited all the tiny little craft shops ascending the island and then ascended the statue ourselves. This gave Yvonne and myself the strangest cramp ever to be experienced. A sign of unfitness? I certainly hope not. That evening we said a sad goodbye to Genevieve, one of my favourite people I´ve met so far. A strong, fierce and fiery chica from California but with Native American blood in her, Gen lives and breathes eco systems. Initially the two of us seemed incompatible as friends - she was shocked that I didn´t know you could get callouses on your hands (from using tools apparently) and I was similarly shocked that someone would choose to NOT shave their armpits. However, once we were able to laugh at our striking lifestyle differences we were able to laugh about nearly everything else and now I dearly miss her already. We also shared a mutual appreciation for booze and occasionally obnoxious behaviour which helped.

The next two days were two of my favourite spent in Mexico yet and another Bosque-r named Yvonne played a large part in that. Yvonne is a 32yr-old investment banker from London but has a severe case of hippie-at-heart syndrome. On Tuesday the two of us went to the charming town with the wholly satisfying name of Tzintzuntzan, dragging Jacky the Canadian in tow. Tzintzuntzan had a fiesta going on all day that apparently began at 4am! It was just like a summer fete back in England with the bunting and families and craft stalls and food. Except somehow 900% more colourful! It was so much fun and we left giggly and smug... Although not as smug as the next day, whereby we went to an authentic Mexican Bull Riding competition! This was at a bull ring, again in Tzintzuntzan (a town made of hours of fun), teeming with Mexican families and smelling of Macho men and of course, tequila. It was JUST LIKE something you´d see in the movies. Big muscly Mexican men jumping on raging torros which fling them wildly around the ring until they eventually get thrown (rather violently) off to the song of the ´bandas´ playing excitable music and the delight of the thrilled audience.

Yvonne and I could not stop beaming our English smugness at having found out about this exclusively Mexican event and having witnessed such a cultural delicacy of local entertainment. Truly brilliant! However, after this fun we had to part ways with Yvonne as she boarded a bus to Morelia to continue with her own travels to Belize. I really miss Yvonne too - an inspiring, intelligent, energetic and really fun girl with a big heart. She was like another big sister! I look forward to dinners at hers in Balham when I´m back in London and visiting her at her dress stall at the Upmarket in Brick Lane.

And so now I feel lost once more! I seriously do not like saying goodbye and Jacky keeps making fun of me for taking it personally when people leave the Bosque and for feeling like they´re leaving me! But i can´t help it! Also, the rain is supposed to make a lasting appearance from tomorrow and we all know how i feel about that. An amazing last few days though to keep me smiling for a while...

Muchos love xxx

Rain

SO rainy, so wet, so cold, so grey. Is this England??!!! I don´t feel like I´m in Mexico right now!! May have to move to the coast sharpish... I miss central heating. Is that bad? Possibly the antithesis of the attitude one is supposed to take when staying in an eco village! Ah well, i never claimed to be a perfect little hippie. Must make a short out here. Filmmaking makes me happy!

The Forest is my Friend

View over Patzcuaro lake from the Bosque

Living out here in the forest is good for a person in general and I'm gradually discovering the ways, day by day... Firstly it has made me feel so much more CAPABLE. One of my best friends back home, Charl, always sees me getting out of stuff I don't like doing by pretending I'm not good at it and therefore someone will do it for me, this includes but is definitely not limited to: washing up, carrying stuff, turning on an oven (!)... She is the only one who doesn't let me get away with it by insisting that I NEED TO LEARN. She is so right and nothing like this experience out here in the Bosque has made me realise that more. As you are forced to do all this stuff, not just for yourself but for other people, you grow more confident in your own abilities and instincts and therefore feel more capable. I've realised that I actually prefer this feeling to feeling dependent on others...

Another way this forest has been good for me is in terms of my FEARS. Out here, I have realised that I am pretty much scared of everything!!! Ghosts, murderers, fire, falling down, dropping things, injuring myself, getting dirty... Basically, anything that anyone could possibly be scared of I have somehow thought of first and am already worrying about! I always thought I was a little fearless viking but being out here has definitely shown me otherwise! My biggest issue here has been the forest at night. It is VERY dark (especially on a cloudy night when there is no moonlight) as there are no lights here and so we use torches to make our ways back to our cabanas from either dinner or hanging out at the Casita. This involves walking through the pitch-black forest, more often than not - ALONE. My first night I was PETRIFIED by the thought of this and insisted my room mates walked back with me. My second night I conquered my fear to some extent by repeating over and over to myself the comforting mantra , 'The Forest is my Friend', as advised by Shaya. Gradually I felt more and more confident being out here in the forest and recognising that there was definitely NOTHING (human or otherwise) lurking behind any of the trees at night... However, for the past 2 nights I've been sleeping in the cabana alone and so Judith and Miriam have kindly walked me back both nights so I wouldn't have to face both the walk and the empty cabana as a double-scary-whammy. I'm confident that my childish fears will soon subside, I'm twenty-frickin-three so they better!

Brian left on Saturday whilst Shaya, Alejandra and Aaron left on Sunday. Some of the other volunteers went away for their days off but I decided I wanted to stay here at the Bosque and enjoy my time off without rushing about. Judith and Miriam, two super friendly and sweet German girls, have been here so it's been nice getting to spend some time with them. We hung out on Sunday night by the fire of the lodge, playing guitar and making animal balloons. Another thing I like about this place! I feel like my life here is so much more innocent and simple! No need for raves and debauchery for entertainment... Simple pleasures. Sunday night is when the rain started... It was so stormy and there was even occasional bouts of hail! The rain hasn't really stopped since...

Yesterday we were going to go to Tzintzuntzuan, another town in Michoacan to see some ruins but the weather was so horribly cold and rainy! So for most of the day we chilled by the fire and read instead... And then when we got hungry we hitchhiked in to Patzcuaro (with some policemen hahaha) to go to a German restaurant (the girls were food homesick) and ate enough meat for a week's supply! Last night we hung out by the fire again and the girls introduced me to a delicious Bolivian drink which is hot, spiced milk and vodka! Absolutely perfect end to my day!

Although today is also my day off, I am working on the vlog a bit more because I want to post it by the end of tomorrow!

Hasta luego!
A xx

make-up wake-up

SO i've discovered something immensely sad about myself and probably about most city girls, or at least most girls from London. Right now is the LONGEST length of time I've ever been without make-up. Depressing, much?! I've been trying to explain it to the other girls here... It's like, back home, when I first wake up and right before I go to sleep (i.e. when I'm not in make up), I don't consider that to be my face. Whoever it is looking back at me in the mirror is me-without-makeup and how i look the rest of the day I consider to be actually ME. SO being here, OBVIOUSLY i will not wear any as there's just no need... And it feels so weirdly and embarrassingly liberating! I can't believe that something as pathetic and unimportant as MAKE-UP which is just bullshit chemicals and crap that we layer on our face daily because it is SOMEHOW considered NORMAL could have such a hold on me! For my first week here I found it strange to look in to the mirror and always see my bare face. My own face kept shocking me. That is MESSED UP! I don't even wear that much make-up usually but I wear stuff to cover imperfections - I'm used to seeing darker eyebrows, having lighter skin around my eyes, bronzer cheeks and more defined eyes. Small differences but put together, give me a whole other impression of what my face looks like.

I'm getting used to the mirror thing but I'm still extremely uncomfortable with photos. I do NOT want to have any taken or to see any of myself right now whatsoever! Yesterday Miriam and Judith kept wanting to take photos of our jaunt to Patzcuaro but I couldn't do it. My conclusion is that country living is good for your self-image. How can you not feel comfortable with your own reflection unless it is covered by a mask? And I have a feeling that my experience is similar to that of how many of my girlfriends back home would react. And even more other women of Britain. We all need to spend some time in the forest and get back to extreme basics and TRULY realise that none of this shit matters whatsoever. We need to feel comfortable with or faces AS THEY ARE.

Imbalanced vibes

Laundry at the Bosque

SO forgive me for talking like a hippy but my harmonies have been strangely imbalanced the last couple of days... I have had a great time, but some things have just seemed a bit off. Today is a good example! The weather has been insanely weird and temperamental. Usually the days here are gorgeous, with hot sun and a cooling breeze and the nights absolutely freezing. However, last night was surprisingly warm! So I should have known that today would be super cold! I was working outside too so I couldn't feel my feet and ended up putting on 3 pairs of socks haha. This made me feel very pissed off and grumpy as I don't take to the cold that well but then as soon as lunch was served I felt SO HAPPY as there was sun AND humous!! Haha a bit schiz?! Although again, right now I am feeling horribly weird again as I'm too bloody FULL! Haha I just ate the most delicious lunch of freshly-made humous, vegetables and tortilla wraps. I went a little crazy and ate too much but only to make up for the horribly cold morning I had... Everything is imbalanced!

SO on Thursday I got the best news ever! It was my second day of work and Brian and I discussed me making a weekly vlog for the Bosque as my work service here. I am absolutely THRILLED!!!! Whilst I enjoy the outdoorsy work as it is so new to me and not stuff that I'd EVER normally do or will probably do again, I am so glad that I get to keep up my filmmaking and hone my skills here. Plus, I get to film on Brian's HD camera and edit on Adobe Premiere so it should be good for me to learn and feel comfortable with both. So for the past three days I have been filming everything I can - the different work tasks we do and all the fun we have! This has included so far cob-building, wood chopping, meditation, a chainsaw workshop, interviews with volunteers... I think I've enjoyed filming the various vistas here the most as it really is quite stunning in the forest when the sun is out... Today I began editing my footage which hasn't been as difficult as I thought it'd be, turns out editing software is all very similar. It feels quite good to be 'on it' again in the same way I am in London. To feel productive and in control of my own projects. I'm a laidback person but I need to feel that I am actively contributing to my own development at all times haha. The physical labour does help but the filming is easily more satisfying for me.

Rose painting

I have helped with a bit of cob-building alongside the film work though which has been really cool. The new cabanas here are being made from eco-friendly 'cob', a mix of water, sawdust, pine needles and earth. So yesterday and today, we've been smoothing the floor of one of the new cabanas with finely ground cob mix. Yesterday, Judith and I laid it all down and today all of us volunteers went barefoot and smoothed the mix out across the floor of the cabana. At first I was filming but it looked so much fun that I decided to join in... and MASSIVELY regretted it!!! It was so effing cold!!! My toes were freezing!

Chicken coup

We finish work at 2pm everyday here and then all sit down to a huge lunch together. After this we are free to do whatever we want and this is my favourite time of the day, between 2-7.30pm (when dinner is served) as I always feel so happy, chilled and peaceful. Particularly when the sun is out! Sometimes I'll hang out with the other volunteers (sometimes getting drunk early if someone has alcohol haha), but mostly I prefer to spend this time alone just lying in my favourite hammock reading (currently Sophie's World - am I a cliche?!) or writing whatever inspires me or wandering around the acres of forest here. After dinner, all of us hang out together either by the fire in the Casita or outside by a fire. Last night was one of my favourite nights here, we all hung out by a fire at The View (the best part of the forest) drinking local wine and playing guitar.

Genevieve working hard

I cannot believe I've been here a week already! Time goes by so strangely here... The week has gone so quick but at the same time, I feel very settled here like I've been here longer. I know that the vibe will change after this weekend though as many volunteers are leaving... Alejandra (the super lovely 20yr-old from Mexico City), Little Brian (a 33yr-old English lit graduate/ fisherman/ girls' favourite haha from US), Aaron (a 24yr-old absolutely mental biking-around-latin-america seasonal firefighter from Canada) and sweet sweet Shaya (22 from Israel.) I am most upset about Shaya as we get on very well and have SO MUCH FUN together and she was going to stay longer but then decided she wanted to see more of Mexico but only has a month left so she's going earlier than expected. She's my favourite here as there's just no bullshit with her and she doesn't pretend to be someone she's not and she never follows the crowd but is always her own person and she's really freakin cool! I plan to see her again in my travels and we have talked about potentially travelling Belize together. Hope to meet Aaron again sometime later as he is travelling some more and is really funny and bizarre company! We are having a couple more volunteers arrive next week but I am still sad as the dynamic will definitely change. That doesn't mean to say it won't still be fun, just different!

Anyways gotta go, am visiting Eronga with Shaya... Wanna buy some booze for tonight as it is her last! Hopefully next time I write I will feel more in sync with my own rhythms or whatever... Think some sun will help enormously!

xxx

nature calls

Hola!

On Monday I attended a bread-making class in a tiny nearby village romantically named La Zazarmora together with another volunteer, Genevieve. She is a 23yr old from Portland, Oregon who despite studying Landscape Architecture at uni, works on her own eco ranch in California with her boyfriend. She is here at the Bosque to learn other sustainability methodologies to then implement back in her own ranch. The bread-making class was at the home of a Mexican family who run several businesses; a shop, a distillery and a bakery from their home! Senora Alicia, the family's grandmother led the class together with her daughter Soco and her two young daughters were also helping! So we had three generations baking bread together. They were such a beautiful, loving and happy family and despite Gen's and my crappy Spanish we were all able to laugh and joke together throughout the long day. We left completely breaded out and bought several bottles of the family's liquor, Vino de Zaza to share with everyone back at the Bosque. Everyone really appreciated it as it is so tasty and more importantly, quite potent! So we all spent the evening playing cards, getting drunk and hanging out by the fire of the Casita, our own lounge hut.

Yesterday, I had the most perfect day! In the morning, Genevieve, Rose (from Minnesota) and I walked in to another nearby town named Erongaricuaro which is so so charming! Rose and Genevieve are super eco-conscious in their lives back home so I was enlightened with talk on permaculture and suchlike... And also some spirituality they both follow involving rebirths and dedication ceremonies. I couldn't add much to that particular conversation and for a city-girl like myself, it's not something I am particularly excited about however it was interesting listening to the different ways in which they both live their lives. We walked around the market of Erongaricuaro and I bought a cowboy sombrero to blend in with the locals! Haha, they all looked at me like I'm a crazy gringo... Although, saying that, the locals here often mistake both myself and Genevieve for Mexicans, but from Mexico city. Genevieve is half Native American and so I guess with our brown skin we both fit in with some of the demographic here...

Outdoor composting toilet - The Boogaloo

When we got back to the Bosque, I spent a few hours reading in my favourite hammock overlooking the hills of Patzcuaro. It makes me feel so unbelievably happy and so fresh and so lucky and so alive! Then, Judith, a German volunteer here from Circus school, brought out the jump rope and many of us had such a hysterical and exhilarating time skipping together. Turns out, I'm not as agile as I was back in primary school... After this, myself, Rose, Laura (a retreater) and Alejandra (from Mexico City) had a 'Spanish Corner' whereby the three ignorants attempt to speak Spanish and Alejandra corrects us! I really don't think my Spanish is improving... Especially here at the Bosque where all the volunteers speak English!

Shaya & Genevieve

Today was my first day of WORKING! We began at 8.30am and worked through to 2pm when we took lunch... Today I shovelled fertile earth to a less fertile spot where we are going to begin planting a vegetable garden. Despite my usual aversion to physical labour, I REALLY enjoyed this! So tiring, but it felt so good to be working amongst nature and outdoors and to work my arms! It was tiring but fun as myself and Shya, an Israeli volunteer, were put together and she's really cool, interesting and fun so I love talking to her. Her life has been so varied and she's only 22, having lived in eco villages in Israel, California and having been travelling alone for the past 5months around Mexico.

I'm about to go for a thorough tour of the entire Bosque with Brian, the owner and creator of the project and film it at the same time... Look forward to doing more shooting and getting good footage here!

Adios!
A x

Ojo de Anetta

(Apparently attention-seeking me) at Frida's place

Today I learnt something about myself; that I am not as shy and introverted as I often assert. My friends and family have been telling me this forever but lessons about yourself are always more meaningful when you learn them yourself eh? This evening I was chilling in the trendy La Condesa district of Mexico city, drinking cervezas with Luisa, Mariana and Luisa´s friends. They all speak good English but obviously much of the conversation took place in Spanish. And as much as I enjoyed listening to the gorgeous cadence of their language, as i couldnt understand anything I had to sit quietly as the sweet, shy girl. So i discovered that I DO NOT LIKE being the sweet shy girl!!! Haha even though I couldn´t chip in as i had no idea what they were saying, i REALLY wanted to say something at all times! Sweet and shy does not suit. And i have realised that I must often speak JUST so i can speak. Am i one of those people who like the sound of their own voice?! FECK.

Anyways, another observation I made about social interactions is that often when we are talking with our friends we must find laughter and smiles SO contagious that when our friends are telling a story, it helps when they are laughing to lighten the mood in general and keep everyone compelled and uplifted! I say this because, again, even though I could not understand much of the conversation, I found myself constantly giggling when everyone else giggled and naturally beaming throughout the conversation just because everyone else were clearly enjoying themselves! What a beautiful aspect of human empathy. I really enjoyed discovering this.

Frida Kahlo's home

We visited the Museo Casa Estudio Diego Rivera y Frida Kahlo in Coyoacan today. This is where the famous artists and lovers Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera lived and it is such a beautiful and inspirational house. Everything about it is so warm and it seems the kind of place that if you lived there, you would never care to see the outside world. I can imagine them just staying in and being creative together. I loved the colourful monster puppets that Frida made and decorated the outside of the house with the most! And also, bizarrely, their crockery really caught my attention as they were handpainted with charming child-like creatures by Frida and Diego together. My heart broke though as Mariana translated a love letter from Frida to Diego whereby she asks him to not see other women (unless he really can´t help it) and ends the letter with ¨please love me a little, I adore you¨... But then next to this we were presented with a love letter from one of his Italian lovers written in the same year professing her love and how much of a sweet time she´d spent with him. ALL MEN ARE BASTARDS! Especially as Diego has been known to say such eloquent and touching praises of Frida and he clearly loved her. I guess, as with all men, his ego swallowed his dignity and his respect for love. We then walked around the lively Coyoacan, strolling around the Plaza San Jacinto. Filled with people and live guitar music yet extremely chilled and relaxing, I really enjoyed this vibe!

Coyoacan

Sitting in La Condesa this evening, I made my mind up that I should go to the eco village this Saturday… I realised that whilst I did want to see more of Mexico city, one of the reasons why i was putting the Bosque Village off is because i´m scared!!! I am so nervous that i will not survive there and everyone will think i am a bad example of a human being and i won´t like the outdoors living, the vegetarian food, the no smoking and the physical labour! And here in Mexico city i am getting very comfortable with my great company and English speaking hosts! It is time for me to throw myself in the deep end again. After all, this is exactly why i CAME to central america… it´s once again time for sink or swim! So i just booked my ticket to Patzcuaro in the state of Michoacán for Saturday morning so I will arrive at the Bosque Village on Saturday, where I will hopefully (if they let me!) spend the next two months…

Hasta luego!

Anetta xx